A friend's Letter : "The Promise" (PART III)

PART III:

Did you ever been fooled before? Do you know what is the feelings? Being fooled are past tense, how to believe are present tense, and do I can believe him are future tense.

I'm still the same like the old days, I do wants to believe. But ... there's doubts in my heart. I am the one that hurts. And I am the loser. Chinese peoples says 天下無白吃的午餐 (there wouldn't be a free lunch, means everything that you do would have the fruit in return). Is it really true?

I used to believed that phrases, but now ... .

[01:26]
Maybe I should ... . But I want says that : Just say sorry won't fix anything, but do something does fix things. So what do you say?

FIN

A friend's Letter : "The Promise" (PART II)

PART II:

i've thinking ... no I feel that. It's hurt inside, feels like burned ... . A little bit too much i think... Rampanging into my mind, and wasting the time to think think and think ... .

Actually I wants a second chances, he didn't gave it. Using those words makes me can do nothing to ... (forget it), but somehow the heart still kept a room - though it's been an empty, dusty, and already sealed- I really don't deserved for the second chances? Am I an annyoing fly so that he used the "joker card" to makes me go away? He says sorry to me, I know everyone just an ordinary human that can broke the promises. But I also human, no extraordinary.

It's easy to accept the words that you are sorry, but it's just not that easy to forgive like turning the hand upside down. I do not want to had a revenge, but I also not a saint, human heart had desire to revenge. But ... I hurt him and he hurt me back, he hurt me and I do the same, that would be an endless karma circle.

I don't want your sorry 單單對不起一句話，是無法解決事情, I don't want to tied you 我綁不了你, I just want something equal for the uncureable scar 我要你對我誠懇、足夠來摺我傷痕.Chinese says 以牙還牙 (tooth for tooth), but I do not want teeth, I wants a heart for heart. That's my condition for you, the decision is yours.

I do not want to be 最熟悉的陌生人 to you. And all this time you are the 最熟悉的陌生人. As if I had done something wrong to you, and i even not allowed talked to you when you aren't in mood.

... to be continued.
PART III

A friend's Letter : "The Promise" (PART I)

A friend's letter
PART I:

Dear my friend, sorry I suddenly wrote a letter to you after years that I haven't mailed you one, I thought last time are really the last, looks like it become at last but not least. It's been a while that I don't dream about him, but yesterday night I dreamt of him. I don't clearly remember the dream, but looks like about a marriage? Old age? Whatever, I forgot. Today, on my way to works I got news from him that he is already been with another people. Suddenly my heart got burned, feels sullen.

Arrived to the office, got this problem taken to the office and bunch of works needs me to solved for. What a perfect day!

In fact I already aware that this day would happens. And that promises he said, my rational thought says that it is rather difficult to be kept. I asked him to make sure about that, and he gave me a confident statement. I don't belived it, but since he was sure and another me do wants to believe, so he and the emotional one succeed to convinced me to believed it (and now It's already been a torn promise).

I have got several thing flying inside-outside of my minds, about the solution, about the condition, about everything. But this is not easy to going through. I ... I want to run. Just for a while, cooling down and reducing this hurt.

... to be continued.
PART II

Kedutan~oh kedutan.

Dah beberapa hari ini, mata ane *dat-dut-dat-dut* mulu. Udah kaya mobil mo mogok gak jadi mogok eh mogok eh gak jadi. Persisnya di kiri bawah, setelah googling katanya : bakal mengalami kesedihan.

Pasal ramalan ini, gw jadi sdikit gelisah. Gak tau biasa gua gak begitu percaya, tapi ini kedutan dah berlangsung 3harian (seinget gua) dan sekarang juga masih "joged2"... . Siang tadi jadi mimpi buruk, keringetan bangunnya (emang gak pake AC seh), dan masih teringat di kepala gua bayangan mimpi tadi.

Mau percaya gak percaya, tapi kadang ramalan bener, kadang ngaco. Gak ngarti juga deh, tapi semoga gak terjadi sesuatu yang berarti deh. I Pray to you, GOD. apa yang menjadi kehendak-Mu terjadilah.